First is the Worst

Any time kids at my school were in a race to get somewhere, the winner would be taken down a peg with the following:

“First is the worst,
second’s the best
third is a nerd
in the polka dot dress”

A few years later, when my little sister learned it, her friends had changed the last couple of lines to “third is the BEST in the polka dot dress” (the fact that second was already the best didn’t bother her in the slightest, no matter what I said). The person who came in first would, before anyone could claim otherwise, recite the rhyme starting with “Zero’s the hero.” This line was unknown to me until my sister and her friends started using it.

She and her friends didn’t invent this, of course; even the “zero’s the hero” bit has been going around for years. The “third” in other versions was often “the hairy princess” or “the one with the hairy chest.”

Some appear to have gone even further, adding in “fourth is the king, fifth is the queen, sixth is the one in the washing machine. And, of course, there are LOTS of variations in the comments. Really, the comments to this one have gotten absolutely out of control.

As to how old it is, well… one version appears in a book of “New England Sayings”[1] from 1894, and in a magazine from 1879:

First’s the worse
second’s the same
last’s the best
of all the game

A similar rhyme is presented as an old saying in Faith Gartney’s Girlhood, an 1872 book in which a character complains that her sister “plagues” her with the rhyme, changing it up to make either the first or last be the best, depending on which of the two of them finishes dressing first.

However, in the voluminous comments to this entry, we can see that many variations became widely known in the English-speaking world, including variations about “the golden eagle” and “the hair princess” and various classifications that don’t even rhyme. Many of them never appeared in print, as far as I can tell. This is one that probably is strictly on the playground; many of the songs and rhymes on this site probably got started in the military or on college campuses and filtered down. Most of these variations were probably made up by kids and spread by kids, but spread internationally by word of mouth alone.

Many of the commentors declined to leave the date range / location where they heard their version, and aren’t that useful for research (some others are probably just making something up) (I do get a few people on this site who just reply by making up 20 rude “Obama” versions of any given rhyme). Sometimes on the site if I suspect someone is just mouthing off, or if they leave out the relevant info, I won’t publish the comment. This one, though, I just sort of let run loose.

See more in the ebook:

BANNER PLAYGROUND tan2
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165 Comments

  1. beberly

    my kids' version ends with
    "Third is the one in the wedding dress"

    fun posts!

    Reply
  2. Anonymous

    NOOO! Its first the worst, second the best, third the one with the hairy chest, 4th the golden eagle, 5th the witch in the ditch eating bread and treacle. Your school was Rubbish!

    Reply
  3. Anonymous

    In lancashire in the 80's I knew it as:
    1st the worst,
    2nd the best,
    3rd the one with the hairy chest,
    4th the one with nothing on,
    5th the dirty donkey!

    Reply
  4. Anonymous

    first the worst
    second the undressed
    third the one with the fat lip
    fourth the one with the zit
    fifth the one falling down the pit
    sixth the one eating shit

    Reply
    1. Emily

      Lol mine was.
      1st the worst
      2nd the best
      3rd the one with the hairy chest
      4th the one with the golden gun
      5th the one with the back gun! XD

      Reply
      1. Gabby

        1st the worst
        2nd the nest
        3rd the golden princess
        4th stinking ram goat
        5th the smelly toilet
        6th the ugly prince
        7th the stupid king
        8th their shity castle

        Reply
  5. Anonymous

    first the burst
    second is someone falling of a cliff
    third is a person kissing somebodys balls
    fourth is kissing my ass
    fifth is somebody getting burn
    sixth is the one who has a ugly face with poop

    Reply
    1. Anomalous

      I can’t tell if this is some absurdly idiotic variation that kids actually used or a hilarious satire of the stupid shit some people in the comments are claiming to be the superior version of the rhyme.

      Reply
  6. Anonymous

    first the bitch
    second the snitch
    third is yuck
    FOURTH IS A DUM FUCK
    FITH HAS NO DICK
    SIXTH IS A DAMN PRICK

    Reply
    1. Anonymous

      Lol

      Reply
  7. Anonymous

    First the worst
    Second the best
    Third the dirty donkey
    Fourth the one with the golden chest/dress
    Fifth the golden eagle

    Reply
  8. Anonymous

    We had it all the way up to 10 at one point, but I can only remember:

    First the worst,
    Second the best,
    Third the golden bird

    (BC around 1990's)

    Reply
  9. Anonymous

    First the worst.
    Second the best.
    Third the one with the hairy chest.
    Fourth the golden eagle.
    Fifth the the evil witch.
    Sixth the beaver bucky.
    Seventh the loser lucky.
    (Alberta in the early '00s)
    and zero the hero if you wanted to be precise about it.

    Reply
  10. Anonymous

    minus the higness
    zero the hero
    first the worst
    second the best
    third the one with the hairy chest
    fourth the one with the golden gun
    fifth the one with the chinese bum
    sixth the one with multi gun

    Reply
    1. peela ankita

      ur so inappropriate i reported u o the government.

      Reply
  11. Anonymous

    First the worst
    second the best
    third the nerd
    fourth the dwarf
    fifth the golden eagle

    Reply
  12. Anonymous

    -=highness
    0=hero
    1=worst
    2=best
    3=cute little bird
    4=dwarf
    5=dino
    6=dodo
    7=cat
    8=unicorn
    9=stolen clementine
    10=fat hen

    Reply
  13. Anonymous

    scotland early 00's

    minus the highness
    zero the hero
    first the worst
    second the best
    third the one with the hairy chest
    fourth the golden eagle
    fifth the dirty donky :)

    Reply
  14. Anonymous

    First the worst
    Second the best
    Third the one with the hairy chest
    Fourth the golden eagle
    Fifth the fairy princess

    Essex, early 1980s

    Reply
  15. Anonymous

    First the worst
    Second teh best
    Third the one with the hairy chest
    Fith the king
    Sixth the queen
    Seventh the golden eagle

    DEVON, early oo's

    Reply
  16. Anonymous

    Zero the hero
    First the worst
    Second the best
    Third the one with the hairy chest
    Fourth the king
    fith the queen
    sixth the golden eagle

    Devon, early 00's

    Reply
  17. Stevie

    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with the hairy chest
    4th the king
    5th the queen
    6th the one with a pretty dress
    7th the one out to impress
    8th the flurt
    9th eating dirt
    10th without a shirt
    Thats all i can remember this is what i remember it as :T x

    Reply
  18. Anonymous

    London 2011
    Minus the highness
    Zero the hero
    First the worst
    second the best
    third is the one with the hairy chest
    fourth's the dwarf
    fifth's the dwif

    Reply
  19. Anonymous

    Bahrain, late 90s:

    zero the hero
    first the worst
    second the best
    third the one with a hairy chest
    fourth the king
    fifth the queen
    sixth the joker who remains unseen

    I can't remember the rest except ten is the one who's a big fat hen because everyone started clucking and flapping their arms.

    Reply
  20. Anonymous

    minus the highness
    zero the hero
    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the hairy princess/fairy princess
    4th the ghost eating toast halfway up the lampost
    5th the witch eating sticks halfway up the football pitch
    and i think there was a golden eagle later on but my memory escapes me…
    (not sure why the 4th and 5th are so descriptive; or why a witch was eating sticks)
    newcastle; 90s

    Reply
  21. Anonymous

    I've heard:
    1st the worst,
    2nd the best,
    3rd the one with the golden dress {or chest if a boy},
    4th the king,
    5th the queen,
    6th the one in the washing mashine,
    7th went to heaven,
    8th went through the wrong gate,
    9th is divine,
    10th are men,
    11th did the same as 7th,
    12th wore a skinny belt,
    13th burnt the toast,
    14th bought new teeth.

    I'm 12 so that must've been 2004-2009? In Essex, close to London.

    Reply
  22. Anonymous

    NO PEOPLE IT IS
    0 IS THE HERO
    1 IS WORST
    2 IS BEST
    3 IS THE NERD
    4 IS THE KING
    5 IS THE QUEEN
    6 IS THE ONE WITH THE WASHING MACHINCE
    7 WENT TO HEAVEN
    8 WENT TO THE WRONG GATE
    9 IS THE DIVINE
    10 ARE THE MEN
    11 SAME AS 7
    12 WORE A SKINNY BELT
    13 BURNT THE TOAST
    14 BOUGHT NEW TEETH

    Reply
  23. Anonymous

    its
    first is the worst
    second is the best
    third is the one with a treaser chest
    fourth is the one with the harry chest
    fith is the one with the wedding dress

    Reply
  24. Anonymous

    Zero the hero
    First the worst
    Second the best
    Third the royal princess
    Fourth the ghost eating toast half way up a lamp post
    Fifth the witch eating sticks while in the middle of a football pitch
    Sixth the one riding on the washing machine
    Seven went to visit heaven
    Eight went to see a mate
    Nine always looked divine
    Ten loved the attention from men
    Eleven went with seven
    That was 2004 roughly and from Sunderland area

    Reply
  25. Anonymous

    Sydney, Australia 1980s
    No, no, no, this is the way it is my friends:

    Zero the hero
    First the worst
    Second the best
    Third the hairy princess
    Fourth the Porsche
    Fifth the prince

    Reply
  26. Anonymous

    Zero the hero
    First the worst
    Second the best
    Third the one with the hairy chest
    Fourth the one with the golden eagle

    Gloucestershire, England

    I always wondered why the golden eagle came into it…some really tasteless ones on here, just goes to show how filthy kids are!

    Reply
  27. ass

    forth with the sexy coak

    Reply
  28. Anonymous

    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with the hairy chest
    4th the one that god loves best
    school 2011

    Reply
  29. Anonymous

    First is the worst
    Second the best
    Third is the one with the golden egg
    Fourth the one with the golden chest
    Fifth is the one with the golden dress
    Sixth the one with the polka dotted dress

    says my daughter

    Reply
  30. Anonymous

    first is the worst
    second is the best
    third is the one with the treasure chest.

    That's the one I know, I don't think there were other lines after. I think my 3rd line was only at my school (or area, iunno)

    (Toronto, Ontario, 2003-2009 ish)

    Reply
  31. Anonymous

    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rds a nerd
    4th goes up north
    5th gets a kiss.
    That's how it is in Michigan! 😀

    Reply
  32. wonderous

    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with the hairy chest
    3rd the one with the golden gun
    4th the one with the machine gun
    north west london and ive forgot the rest

    Reply
  33. Anonymous

    Ours always made no sense. Looking at other comments it was probably a bastardised version that didn't get passed down quite right.

    "First the worst,
    Second the best,
    Third the golden eagle."

    New Zealand, 1980s.

    Reply
  34. Anonymous

    0 is the hero
    first is the worst
    seconds the best
    third is the one with the treasure chest
    fourth is the one with the wedding dress
    fifth is the one with the hairy chest

    Reply
  35. hi hi

    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the golden princess
    4th is the same
    5th is always the one to blame
    6th is cool
    7th peed in the pool

    Reply
  36. Anonymous

    NONE of these make the least sense! XD

    Reply
  37. awsome

    zero the hero
    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with the treasure chest
    4th the dwarf

    i can't remember the rest :(

    MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

    Reply
  38. awsome

    heard above: Cheltenham, 2011- my friends used to say it at school

    Reply
  39. Cat Trap

    1 is worst
    2 is best
    3 is one with treasure chest

    Reply
  40. Anonymous

    1st has no luck
    2nd is a fuck (Chicago, early 1950s)
    3rd has a sword
    4th killed 5th
    5th got lifted
    6th ate 7th
    7th went to heavem
    8th broke the rules
    9th drooled in the pool
    10th drank the drool
    11th drank the pool…………………………………….

    10000th ate 11.11 went to heaven. the end

    Reply
  41. Anonymous

    Theres only 3 lines that i know of
    1st is the worst
    2nd is the best and
    3rd is the one with the hairy chest

    Reply
  42. Notinghamshire 1980s

    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with the hairy chest
    4th the cheeky monkey
    5th the fairy queen
    6th the golden eagle

    Reply
  43. TeddyBear123

    no no no this is it

    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with the hairy chest
    4th the dwarf
    5th the dwift
    6th the one who eats gold fish
    7th the one who licks the window

    Reply
  44. Anonymous

    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the nerd
    4th the wort
    5th the king
    6th the one that sings
    7th the one that got lost in the mist
    8th the ever-ending gate
    9th the one that led the fight
    10th the end

    Reply
  45. Loki

    I only remember this from my childhood. ;3 And to all those who say that they're all wrong, all places have different variations, the only sameness is the beat.

    First is the worst
    Second is the best
    Third is the one in a golden dress
    Fourth is the king
    Fifth is the queen
    Sixth is the one in a washing machine (or Sixth is the one who remains unseen)
    Seven went to heaven
    Eight was late
    Nine was the one who opened the gate…

    -Loki

    Reply
  46. Anonymous

    hong kong mid 90's

    minus the highness
    0 the hero
    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the hairy princess
    4th the golden eagle
    5th the rotten egg
    6th the cowboy from the west

    Reply
  47. Anonymous

    1st is the worst
    2nd is the best
    3rd is the one with the hairy chest
    4th is the one polka dotted dress
    5th is the one with the treasure chest

    Reply
  48. Anonymous

    zero the hero
    first the worst
    second the best
    third with the hairy chest
    fourth with the golden gurst
    firth with the sliver dress
    Sixth with the golden dress

    Reply
  49. Anonymous

    you know it's not right there are kids who can come to this website don't put swear words it is bad language it is
    zero the hero
    first the worst
    second the best
    third with the hairy chest
    fourth with the golden guts
    firth with the sliver dress
    Sixth with the golden dress

    Reply
  50. Anonymous

    i agree

    Reply
  51. Anonymous

    zero the hero
    first the worst
    second the best
    third with the hairy chest
    fourth with the golden guts
    firth with the sliver dress
    Sixth with the golden dress

    Reply
  52. Anonymous

    hi i am a kid why would you put that in a website were you know kids will visit shame on you what will god think shame on you

    Reply
  53. emily

    NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

    First the worst
    Second the best
    third the one with the hairy chest
    fourth the one that god loves best
    5th the one with the golden dress
    THATS ALL I KNOW!

    Reply
  54. Anonymous

    God doesn't exist, kid…

    Reply
  55. arega77

    Zero is the hero
    First is the worst
    Second is the best
    Third is the one with the harry chest
    Fourth is the one with the treasure chest
    Fifth is the one with the polka dot dress
    Sixth is the king
    Seventh is the queen
    Eighth is the one in the washing machine

    Reply
  56. arega77

    Zero is the hero
    First is the worst
    Second is the best
    Third is the one with the harry chest
    Fourth is the one with the treasure chest
    Fifth is the one with the polka dot dress
    Sixth is the king
    Seventh is the queen
    Eighth is the one in the washing machine

    Reply
  57. Anonymous

    God exist you noob >:O

    Reply
  58. Anonymous

    first the worst
    second the best
    3rd the one with a hairy chest
    4th the one that god loves best

    Reply
  59. Anonymous

    yeah, dont be a douche, but im 12 and i find that cursing version like 10 times funnier!

    Reply
  60. Anonymous

    they dont even RHYME past third! hahahaha

    Reply
  61. Anonymous

    No you're all wrong!!!
    It goes a little something like this…

    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the royal princess
    4th the dwarf
    5th the thief

    That's all i remember xD

    Reply
  62. Anonymous

    NW Kent, UK, 1970s:

    First the worst
    Second the best
    Third the golden eeeeeagle.

    I don't know if there was more, or if I've only remembered that far. It certainly appears there should be more.
    BTW "Eagle" was stretched out in it's first syllable.

    Why a 'golden eagle' – is this some alchemical reference, or a reference to the gold eagle lectern in church?

    Reply
  63. abby

    1st is the worst
    2nd is the best
    3rd is the one with the hairy chest
    4th is the one that GOD loves best
    5th is a freak
    6th is a nerd
    7th is the one that freaks on the dance floor
    8th is a dwarf
    9th is thr one that wears big shoes
    and 10th is the one that wins the game

    Reply
  64. abby

    i heard it in a school on LA California on December 10th on 2011

    Reply
  65. Anonymous

    Surely it's the taking part that counts…

    Reply
  66. Anonymous

    First the worst,
    second the best,
    third's the one with the silver dress,
    forth's the one with the golden gun,
    fifth's the one with the hairy bum,

    Reply
  67. Levi

    wrong
    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with the hairy chest
    4th the golden princess

    Reply
  68. levi

    forth was not the sexy coak it was the golden princess

    Reply
  69. levi

    doesent rhyme

    Reply
  70. Anonymous

    This is how we did rhymed it:

    First the worst, second the best, third the one with the hairy chest, fourth the one with the wedding dress, fifth the one with the treasure chest.

    Reply
  71. Anonymous

    yeah, and um.. i'm 13, and cursing is dumb. and for a 12 year old, you're very rude and inappropriate.

    Reply
  72. Anonymous

    Well.. Different people have different personalities, if or if not they are affected by curse words or not its human nature

    Reply
  73. Anonymous

    NO ITS FIRST ID THE WORST,SECOND IS THE BEST,THIRD IS THE ONE WITH THE GOLDEN CHEST AND ALSO SOMETIMES WE SAY FOURTH IS THE ONE WITH THE BALLERINA DRESS

    Reply
  74. Sleepy

    stop swaring

    Reply
  75. GearzGuidez

    Yeah, I'm 13, after a while, honestky, cursing isn't really cool, it's old and stale. Also I used to do it as…
    zero the hero
    first the worst
    second the best
    third the one with the hairy chest…

    We never really went any higher than that… I was really lazy as a 7 year old, couldn't be bothered… |:0

    Reply
  76. Anonymous

    Well, I learned it like this:

    First is the worst
    Second is the best
    Third is the one with the treasure chest
    Fourth is the one with the hairy chest
    Fifth is the one who forgot to get dressed
    Sixth is the cowboy heading west
    Seventh is the taco with a lot of zest

    Boy, there sure are many different variations on this rhyme, aren't there?

    Reply
  77. Anonymous

    yijjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

    Reply
  78. Anonymous

    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with the hairy chest
    4th the one with the golden gun
    6th the one with the electronic bum!!

    Reply
  79. Anonymous

    This is the actual one:

    Minus the highness
    Zero the hero
    Decimal the best of all
    First the worst
    Second the best
    Third the one with the hairy chest
    Fourth the one with the golden gun

    Reply
  80. Anonymous

    1st is the worst
    2nd is the best
    3rd is the one with nothing on
    4th is the one with a red thong

    Reply
  81. Jonny

    Oddly, this is the version we had in early-mid 90s doncaster, in northern england.

    Reply
  82. Anonymous

    First is the worst, second is the same, third is the one with the disconnected brain.

    Reply
  83. Anonymous

    NOOOOO!!!!!
    zero the hero
    first is worst
    second is best
    third's the one with the poka dot dress
    Fourth's the one with the hairy chest

    Reply
  84. Anonymous

    First, the worst,
    The backside burst
    Second, the best,
    But no recess
    Third is the one with the treasure chest.

    Reply
  85. Anonymous

    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with the hairy chest
    4th the one with the shiny bum
    (from my 6 year old)

    Reply
  86. Anonymous

    that is a disgrace.

    Reply
  87. Anonymous

    I LIKE TOILETS

    Reply
  88. Anonymous

    chloza likes toilets

    Reply
  89. Jessica Is Da BOMB

    Zero the hero
    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the hairy princess
    4th the ghost eating toast half-way up the lampost
    5th the witch eating chips half-way up the football pitch!….
    NOW THAT IS HOW YOU DO IT.

    Reply
  90. toiletlover

    i am a toilet lover
    and i love toilets
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    toilets

    Reply
  91. toiletlover

    toilets ar great
    i love toilets
    i want to be a toilet
    toilets r us xxxxxx

    Reply
  92. spoons

    i like to touch rusty shpoonss

    Reply
  93. Anonymous

    – the highness
    o the hero
    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with the hairy chest
    4th the north
    5th the west
    6th the one with the polka dot vest
    7 11
    8th the ape
    9th the mime
    10th the 10th
    11th the one who took a rest
    12th the zombie
    13th the unlucky
    14th the one in the blury mist
    15th the lean mean stupid green-bean

    Reply
    1. Anonymous

      “10th the 10th?” Really? The 1st/2nd lines are a given, and the “Zero the hero” and, to a lesser extent, “‘[m]inus’ the highness” lines are pretty common. The 3rd line varies a lot, but the one in your version is fairly common. “4th the north” is obviously an extension of the numeral rhyme, and “5th the west” one of the cardinal direction theme– “6th etc.,” of course, being simply a made-up rhyme for that. The rest are mostly rhymes, with the exceptions of 11th (belated rhyme for 3rd/6th? Or just coincidence?) through 14th. “13th the unlucky” makes sense, and the other lines are simply inexplicable local variations. But, with all those designations, you couldn’t think of anything for 10th except itself?

      Reply
  94. Anonymous

    (Sydney, 1990's)

    Reply
  95. Anonymous

    I think that somepeople have gotit wrong but i personally think Jessica is da bomb was right unlike the rest of so deal with..ok!

    Reply
  96. Admin

    HI EVERYONE
    THANKS FOR COMMENTING I LOVE THEM ALL
    KISSES TO YOU ALL LOVE YOU ALL
    XOX0OX0OX0OX0OX

    LEAVE MORE COMMENTS PLS
    LOVE THE COMMENTS THEY ARE GREAT
    SPOONS

    Reply
  97. Anonymous

    I personally think Spoons are wrong and should be banned.

    Reply
  98. Admin

    i personally think that you shouldnt express your opinions because it is innapropriate to my feelings.
    and i do not respect that.

    Reply
  99. Anonymous

    Well i think people should respect others opinions and deal with it as i prefer the fork…
    its spikey and works well as a spoon too.
    personally spoons freak me out. so why dont you respect others feelings and LOVEFORKS <3 hehehehehe

    Reply
  100. Admin

    Well, im my opinion child, forks are very dangerous to my life as i have had very bad experiences with forks.
    this i shall not explain as i might get too emotional and cry
    and i am a man so i do not cry
    sopoons are very much more smoother and fancy.

    Reply
  101. Toilets

    i will settle this
    go onto my site and buy my toilets

    Reply
  102. Bear Love

    No I prefer Public toilets as you get to express yourself more, also get to meet people who share the commonn interest of the public toilet.Look at the website attached to my name to keep sharing the interest. Even send it to your friends!

    Reply
  103. Anonymous

    i like toilets
    love them
    o my god
    vegans to
    eww not vegies
    kites are awesome

    Reply
  104. Anonymous

    i also love cats
    donkeys as well
    socks FTW

    Reply
  105. Merav

    First is the worst,
    Second is the best,
    Third is the one with the hair on his chest (or her)

    That was all we had, and it's interesting that we made the scansion different on the third line from almost all the other versions here.

    (London, ON in the early '80s)

    Reply
  106. Anonymous

    Cool.

    Reply
  107. catlover

    i like cats also
    i wish i was a cat im so jealous
    damnilovecats

    merav
    i belive you
    you are great
    your assumptions are great
    i love it

    Reply
  108. Anonymous

    this is how it really goes:
    Zero Is the hero
    First is the worst
    Second is the best
    Third is the one with the hairy chest
    Fourth is the one with the treasure chest
    Fifth is the one who forgot to get dressed
    Sixth is the one in the polka dot dress
    Seventh is from Heaven
    Eighth is the one with the golden gate
    Umm yeah that's all I know…

    Reply
  109. Anonymous

    lol i love this one its funny n better than the others

    Reply
  110. Anonymous

    no its first the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd with the hairy chest
    4th with polkadot dress
    5th with the treasure chest
    6th golden bird
    7th in heaven

    Reply
  111. Anonymous

    4th down is wrong

    Reply
  112. Anonymous

    3rd is hairy chest
    5th with treasure chest

    Reply
  113. Anonymous

    my friends always say:
    minus the highness
    zero the hero
    first the worst
    second the best
    all the rest are the best
    last the luckiest

    Reply
  114. Anonymous

    they way my friends and i say it is
    1st is the worst
    2nd is the best
    3rd is the one with a hairy chest
    4th is the queen
    5th is the king
    6th is the one with the poke a dot dress

    Reply
  115. Anonymous

    Lol u guys I'm 14 and I find this one the best of all of them!! The other are just boring and u little thirteen year olds trying to act all mighty huh??

    Reply
  116. kathleen

    silly silly silly
    Minus the Highness
    Zero the Hero
    First the Worst
    Second the Best
    Third the one with the Furry Vest
    Fourth the one golden gun
    Fifth the one with the big fat Bum
    Sixth the one with the Chewing gum

    Heard this at school

    Reply
  117. Anonymous

    First the worst
    Second the best
    Third the dirty donkey
    Fourth the golden eagle
    Fifth the squashed tomato.

    Reply
  118. Anonymous

    it is
    0 the hero
    Nd the best
    3rd the royal Princess
    4 the hairy chest
    Th the golden eagel

    Reply
  119. Anonymous

    wat

    Reply
  120. Ashley Nadine

    Mother of god the internet is depraved these days. I don't know why I'm even responding to this…But, to follow the format of all you other teens, I'm 17, and I think you are all taking this way too seriously. I think no one has a right to tell a kid that God doesn't exist. I think using curse words is what immature people use as a perceived shortcut to maturity. I think too many people use "Anonymous" as an excuse to be a bully. And I think no one will really care that I said any of this. So enjoy refuting this with a huge lack of logic.

    Reply
  121. Anonymous

    I can't believe my version never showed up! First the worst, second the best, third the golden turd, fourth is the king of the north, and fifth… well fifth sucks. I think we had those as the names of our swings we wouod race out to get! Good times, good times..

    Reply
  122. Tingtang Wallawallabingbang

    Minus the Highness
    Zero is the hero
    First is the worst
    Second is the best
    Third is the nerd with the polka dress
    Fourth is the one with a hairy chest
    fifth is the one who needs to impress
    sixth is the one who's an ugly princess
    seventh is the one in the stupid vest
    Eighth is the ape who makes a mess
    ninth is the one that is worth much less
    tenth is the one who got stuck in a desk

    Reply
  123. Anonymous

    shut the fuck up

    Reply
  124. Anonymous

    First The Worst
    Second The Best
    Third The One With The Hairy Chest
    Fourth The One With The Golden Gun
    Fifth The One With The Witches Bum

    Reply
  125. lolz!!!

    minus the highness
    zero the hero
    first the worst
    second the legend
    third the nerd
    fourth the hore covered in tomato sauce
    fith the mith thats drifts
    sixth the trick mixer
    seventh the gate to heaven
    eighth the person with faith
    ninth the bedtimer
    tenth the one with the strength

    Reply
  126. Natalie Belle

    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with the hairy chest
    4the the golden eagle
    5th the dirty donkey

    England Leicester 80's

    Im trying to remember the rest for my 8 year old daughter.

    Reply
  127. Kiesha Wiggons

    I'm 17 also, and I strongly agree with you.. honestly I think that its our job being older then these kids to influence them to have better manors then what those 2 said .. I care.. no one is perfect. Trust me but its I think its good to show them that all thing don't have to b turned bad to br a fun saying

    Reply
  128. Kiesha Wiggons

    0 is the hero
    1st is the worst
    2nd is the best
    3rd is the one with the hairy hair chest.
    4th is the queen
    5th is the king
    6th is the one who held the golden ring
    7 play Madden
    8 couldn't skate
    9 is the one who went on a very hot date

    Reply
  129. MissCp

    This version is V10000000000000000000000000000
    I heard it in my school not long ago, 2010
    Minus the highness
    Zero the hero
    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with the hairy chest
    4th the one with the golden dress
    5th the width
    6th the chick
    7th the peasant
    8th the present
    9th the pint
    10th the length
    Of the diamond plinth
    11th the Malteaser
    12th the fat cheater
    13th the Cheatah
    Who cheats at cards
    14th the clucker
    15th the Piece
    of yummy chocolate
    16th the Towel
    17th the one with
    The Buck-Teeth
    18th the Water Melon
    19th Is the dog
    Which can scarily talk
    20th is the one
    who can sing with his bum.

    Reply
  130. Tessie Ivy

    minus the highness
    zero the hero
    first the worst
    second the best
    third the one with the golden chest
    forth is north
    5th is a myth
    sixth is home sick
    seven is a twin with eleven
    eight is always late
    ninth

    Reply
  131. Lubnah Rabbani

    First is the worst,
    Second is the best,
    Third is the one with the golden chest,
    Fourth is the one with the A plus test.

    Reply
  132. Lubnah Rabbani

    Me too. I am 16 and I agree with you. He should not be taking this too far.

    Reply
  133. Saoirse Mongan

    No!!!!! ppl it's:

    Minus is the highness,
    Zero is the hero,
    First is the worst,
    Second is the best,
    Third is the one with the hairy chest,
    Fourth is the one that God love's the best,
    Fifth is the one with the polka dot dress,
    Sixth is the one with the golden bun,
    Seventh is the one with the stupid gun,
    Eighth is the one with the lots of fun,
    Ninth is the boy,
    Tenth is the toy,
    Eleventh is the girl,
    Twelfth has the curl,
    Thirteenth is the fool,
    Fourteenth's dad is a tool,
    Fifthteenth's mom is cool,
    Sixteenth is super smart,
    Seventeenth just made a fart,
    Eighteenth pooped out a tart,
    Nineteenth is tall,
    Twentieth is small!

    Ha I just made that up there well most of it xx ^_^

    Reply
  134. morrellY74

    No no no no no!!!!!
    It goes:

    First's the worst
    Second's the best
    Third is the one with a hairy chest
    FOURTH IS THE ONE WITH THE GOLDEN DRESS!!!

    Reply
  135. Azusa Nha

    Honestly, just reading these comments, I have to agree that there are so much versions. My little sister was telling my even littler sister that it was first is the worst, second is the best, and third is the one with a treasure chest. They were debating who they would rather be (first, second or last). But in my mind, I was like, who in the world made that up thought it made sense??? I thought it was something that was said to make people who weren't first feel better. Because face it, in the real world first is not the worst, (unless it is like the first who got killed and etc.[but in that perspective, why would the second be the best?]) One example is in a running race. In a race. it is obvious that the first person to win will get the trophy, therefore being the best AND getting the "treasure chest". (Why is the second the best anyways? How do you know the third is getting the treasure chest? How does this relate to the real world? [I doesn't in my perspective :P])

    Reply
  136. DireWolf

    You missed #4 XD

    Reply
  137. Homechat Gamercolt

    No, no! It goes:

    First the worst
    Second the best
    Third is a Mooshroom.

    Reply
  138. marbel contreras

    ok this is how i know it
    First is he worst
    Second is the best
    Third is the one with a hairy chest
    and
    Fourth is the one with the poka dot dress

    and i dont now anymore

    Reply
  139. Shallah Stevens

    all of you are wrong and right but it is zero the hero , first the worst , secound the best , third the one with the hariry chest, 4t the wrong with the poka dot dress, 5th the one with the siliver dress , 6 th the with the golden dress, 8 th the one with the treasue chest etc i f you don't like what the person said say disagree and say why nicely btw i am 12

    Reply
  140. Ally A

    first the worst, second the beckoned, third the golden bird, fourth king/queen of the north, fifth king/queen of the mist, hay river 2009

    Reply
  141. Lisa B

    Just sang this to my 5yr old girl but forgot half of it
    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with the hairy chest
    4th the golden eagle
    5th the crazy washine machine
    6th the dirty donkey……
    I cant remember anymore

    Late 80's @ Middleton,Manchester UK

    Reply
  142. Chloe

    I no it all

    Reply
  143. Matthew Suarez

    no its
    1st is the worst
    2nd is the best
    3rd is the with a hairy chest
    4th goes north
    5th goes with
    6th is the one with a polka dot dress

    Reply
  144. Jah Bless

    Lisa B is sooo close!
    It definitely goes:
    Zero the Hero
    First the Worst
    Second the Best
    Third the one with the Hairy Chest
    Fourth the Golden EEEagle
    Fifth the Monkey up the Tree
    Sixth the Dirty Donkey.
    If went higher, but I fail to remember the rest. (Circa 1980s BUCKS, England).

    Reply
  145. Jah Bless

    Lisa B is sooo close.
    It definitely goes:
    Zero the Hero
    First the Worst
    Second the Best
    Third the one with the Hairy Chest
    Fourth the Golden EEEagle.
    Fifth the Monkey up the Tree
    Sixth the Dirty Donnnkey.
    It goes higher, but I fail to remember the rest.
    (Circa 1980s BUCKS, England)

    Reply
  146. Famare Carte

    Age does not matter in this point. It does not COMPLETELY prove that you are wiser or mature. It has to come with experiences.

    Reply
  147. Famare Carte

    NO.

    Reply
  148. anonymous maddy

    minus the highness
    zero the hero
    first the worst
    second the best
    third the one with the hairy chest
    fourth the one with the golden gun
    fifth the one that got shot in the bum
    sixth the king
    seventh the queen
    eigth the one in the washing machine

    Reply
  149. Celeste Rosete

    It's a childhood rhyme which means it has to be appropriate which means a lot of you guys are WRONG.

    Reply
  150. Carleeee

    Growing up in New Zealand:
    Zero the hero
    First the worst
    Second the best
    Third the golden princess

    Reply
  151. anonymous

    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one in the golden dress/3rd the one with the hairy chest/3rd the one with the treasure chest
    4th the king
    5th the queen
    6th the one in the washing machine
    (zero the hero)

    Reply
  152. christina

    zero thew hero
    first the worst
    second the best
    third the nerd
    foruth the golden state terd
    fifth the one who believe in mythe
    sixth the one who knows how to flips
    seventh the one who is eleven

    Reply
  153. The little kid

    In my school, it’s

    First is the worst,
    Second is the best,
    Third is the one with the hairy hairy chest,
    Fourth is the one in the wedding dress,
    Fifth is the one with the treasure chest.

    Everyone has been wondering what’s the sixth and so on and so forth. They just say, “Six is the one I don’t know next” and ask what’s next.

    Reply
  154. dego

    no it is
    1 the gay
    2 the best
    3 the sexy person

    Reply
  155. Ronan

    – the highness
    0 the hero
    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the golden princess
    4th the horse, covered in sauce, running around the gold course.
    5th the witch black as pitch

    Gold Coast Queensland Australia

    Reply
  156. Emily

    1st the worst,
    2nd the best,
    3rd the one with the hairy chest,
    4th the one with the golden gun,
    5th the one with the hairy bum

    Reply
  157. Maisie

    Mine was
    First the worst
    Second the best
    Third the one with the hairy chest
    Fourth the one with the golden gun
    Fifth the one without a bum

    Reply
  158. en

    We had,
    Minus the highness
    1st the worst
    2nd the best
    3rd the one with a hairy chest
    4th the one with the golden gun
    5th the one with a chinese bum

    Reply
  159. dagf

    zero the hero
    first the worst
    second the weapon
    third the nerd
    fourth the dwarf

    Reply

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