Hail to the Bus Driver

This one’s a bit of a puzzler. The song, sung to the tune of “The More We Get Together” (which, itself, is to the tune of some German song, though I doubt that was what the author of the parody had in mind), goes about like this:


Hail to the bus driver,
Bus driver!
Bus driver!
Hail to the bus driver,
Bus driver man.

He yells and he cusses,
and smells up the busses,
Hail to the bus driver,
Bus driver man.

He steps on the clutch
and the toilet goes flush.
Hail to the bus driver,
Bus driver man.

Those are the lyrics as presented by The Simpsons in the early 1990s. Another verse I’ve heard goes:

He drinks and he smokes
and he tells dirty jokes
Hail…

But here’s the thing – as far as I can tell, the song was never collected or published before that episode of The Simpsons. I haven’t found it in any collection of playground or camp songs so far. However, when that episode aired, I knew kids who claimed to have learned the song at camp the year before.

If it’s not a Simpsons original, I suspect it was probably written by a camp counselor – it’s a bit more sophisticated, and not quite as obscene, as what you normally see in a “for kids by kids” song (though I’m SURE kids have written more verses).

update: Certainly this is no Simpsons original – when the episode aired in FXX’s “Every Episode Ever” marathon in 2014, one of the writers tweeted the following:

 What verses did you sing?

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8 Comments

  1. JayVee

    I remember hearing a variation of this in Tucson in the early 80s, well before The Simpsons even made an appearance on the Tracey Ullman show.

    He drinks and he cusses
    He wrecks all the busses

    Reply
  2. Israel C. Evans

    We alway sang it like so:

    Thank you Mr. Bus Driver
    Bus Driver
    Bus Driver
    Thank you Mr. Bus Driver
    for the great ride.

    He drinks and he cusses
    and wrecks all the busses –(like with JayVee above)

    We repeated the chorus, then had a few variations on the middle part which I can't recall, but which were along the same lines.

    Reply
  3. Adrien Allard

    When I was an elementary student back in the 80s we used to sing this song all the time on the bus and sometimes get in trouble because of the words (which of course encourages us to sing it all the more along with 99 bottles of beer on the wall). The words we used were a little different however:

    Hail to the bus driver,
    Bus driver!
    Bus driver!
    Hail to the bus driver,
    Bus driver man.

    He drives up the steeples
    and kills all the people

    Reply
  4. rockpuma

    I remember a couple lines:

    "…He reeks and he stinks
    and he's covered in grease."

    and

    "He's rude and he cruel
    and he's covered in drool."

    Reply
  5. Mark

    I remember this from back in the early '80's. In staying with the drinking theme as posited by earlier commenters, we sang it like this:

    Cheers to the bus driver,
    Bus driver, bus drive.
    Cheers to the bus driver,
    Bus driver man.

    He drinks and he cusses,
    And wrecks all the buses.

    Cheers to the bus driver,
    Bus driver man.

    (which is funny, because on band trips our bus driver usually was a woman)

    Reply
  6. Mark

    That second line should read,
    Bus driver, bus driver.

    Left off the "r."

    Reply
  7. jangoo

    Such a nice and superb song for the tourist who want to take bus tour now i am going to the US tour and i record the same song and listen during the bus new brunswick to new york bus tour after that i will tell you and feed back

    Reply
  8. Sasiz

    Summer is one of the best season to go for the vacation in this season i have plan for the US tour in this season and personally i like the bus tour niagara falls from nyc bus and hope you also prefer to the bus tour when you will be go for teh tour of US…

    Reply

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