Few commercials inspired quite as many parodies (among those that survive) as The Oscar Meyer song. Many of these are just atrocious; in many books, the contributors ask the author to include a not apologizing for it and explaining that they most emphatically do not approve of the sentiment now that they’re old enough to know better.
One collected from “Kreme” by Kay Shapero:
Oh my President has a first name
oh my President has a second name
I like to ???? everyday
and if you ask me why I’ll say
‘cuz jimmy carter has a way
of ****ing up the USA
This one has probably survived with different politicians added in (you’ll notice that JIMMY and CARTER don’t scan to OSCAR and MEYER exactly – you don’t have to fit the meter to be in this song).
Another, equally bad, collected by Sherman from a rather ashamed person who collected in Westchester (where, he wished to add, he and his friends may not have ever actually SEEN a real, live black person):
I wish I was an Alabama trooper
that is what I’d truly like to be
cause if I was an Alabama trooper
then I could shoot _______s legally
Perhaps the simplest version appeared in the book “Upchuck Summer” by Joel Schwartz: I wish I had an Oscar Meyer wiener…
Other versions? Comment!