Row Row Row Your Boat variants

Another very easily parodied song:

Row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream
throw your teacher overboard
listen to her scream

Row, row, row your boat
underneath the stream
ha, ha, I fooled you
I’m a submarine

The teacher version is often coupled with Here Comes _____ Floatin’ Down the Delaware to leat the teacher to his or her demise at the hands of an unfortunate polar bear, though you have to switch the melody from “Row Row Row Your Boat” to “The Old Gray Mare.”

And then there are variations of the “literate” version. I tried to find the source of this one years ago and got nowhere, except for something that said it came from Mr. Rogers. Can that possibly be right?

Propel, propel, propel your craft
gently over liquid solution
ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically,
existence is but an illusion

I believe that the above version showed up in one of the “Hobie Hanson” books that Jamie Gilson wrote around the 80s.

Here’s one from Calvin Smith (via Kay Shapero):

Blow Blow Blow your Nose
Make a little stream
Merrily Merrily Merrily Merrily,
Now your nose is clean.

Sherman recorded several elementary school kids who knew a drug version as early as 1967:

Roll, roll, roll the joint
pass it down the line
take a toke and hold your smoke
blow your f—ing mind

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  1. solier

    Row Row Row a joint,twist it at the end, light it up, then take a puff, and pass it to a friend.

  2. solier

    Row row row,joint put it in a bong, Smoke it up, then your fucked, smoke it tell its gone.

  3. Anonymous

    Belfast, 1980s

    Row Row Row your boat
    gently down the stream
    throw the teacher overboard and listen to them scream

    Upside down, upside down
    I don't care if the school falls down
    no more english, no more french
    no more sittin on the old school bench
    if the teacher interferes, tie her up and box her each,

    With a knicknack paddy wack give the dog a boan, this old man came rolling home

  4. Anonymous

    fuck fuck fuck a duck
    screw and kangaroo
    finger bang an orangutan
    you can do it too.

  5. Anonymous

    The propel, propel, propel your craft one came from a kids show when they were first coming out on local channels. I can't remember where I heard it (what show) , but I was watching the "Pioneers of Television: kids shows" program on pbs. They had the "villain" who was a party-pooper sing this song on one of the successful kid shows. I think it was a national success

  6. Anonymous

    fuck fuck a rubber duck
    screw a kangaroo
    finger bang an orangutan
    support your local zoo

    Southern California mid 90's

  7. Courteny

    Fuck, fuck, fuck a duck
    Screw a kangeroo
    Wang-bang an orangutan
    An orgy at the zoo.

    Indianapolis, circa 1989

  8. Awesomedude45

    Roll Roll roll your joint twist it at the end spark it up get fucked up and pass it to a friend

  9. helly

    Row row row your boat
    Gently down the river
    If you see a polar bear
    Don't forget to shiver
    Manchester uk! 1990s!

  10. Anonymous

    Here's 2

    Roll, roll, roll a joint
    Lick it at the end
    Light it up, and take a puff
    And pass it to a friend! 1990's Kansas City area

    Row, row, row your boat
    Gently down the stream
    Throw your teacher overboard
    And listen to her scream.
    5 days later chewing on her underwear
    Wished she had another pair
    10 days later eaten by a polar bear
    Poor ol' polar bear is dead! 1980's Kansas City area

  11. Anonymous

    (this is for thinking while brushing your teeth) row row row your boat gotta use my brain merrily merrily merrily spit goes down the drain

  12. Anonymous

    Fuck fuck fuck a duck,
    Skrew a kangeroo,
    Fingur bang an orangetang,
    Orge at the zoo!

    This is the original spelling (because it makes me laugh) as found on the bathroom wall of my high school circa 2000. Oddly enough, before I saw that I had never heard any of the dirtier versions. In the mid-nineties the "throw a teacher overboard" one was popular. -Northwest PA

  13. anonymous

    roll roll roll your hoe fuck her till she screams, bust a nut, and slap her but, give her STD's


    I think a comment I made just vanished!
    Wanted to confirm that the "literate" version indeed comes from Mr Rogers, it was the "royal" version performed by King Friday the Thirteenth. I couldn't find an original clip, but this is close, a recreation which credits it as " skit done by Josie Carey & Fred Rogers in the Children's Corner in 1954." I'm pretty certain I saw it on an actual "Neighborhood" clip of more recent vintage, so he probably did it a number of times over his career.

  15. ilovedramaandkarate

    Blow blow blow the boat
    Up in smithereens
    Captain no
    We gotta go
    Now get the Submarines!

  16. Lehk

    late 90's, early 2000's upstate NY

    Roll Roll Roll a Joint
    Twist it at the end
    Take a Puff
    That''s Enough
    Pass it to a friend

    Fuck Fuck fuck a Duck
    Screw a Kangaroo
    Finger an Orangutan
    Orgy at the zoo

  17. socorro

    Ithaca, NY circa 1978:

    Roll Roll Roll a joint
    Pass it down the line
    Take a toke and hold the smoke
    And blow your fucking mind

  18. Someone

    Row, row, row your boat
    Sneak up on the stream
    Lock and load n' tactic mode
    Blow em' to smithereens

  19. heist5

    Row, row, row your boat
    Sneak up in the stream
    Lock and load n' tactic mode
    United States Marines

  20. Jordan DeRosa

    Row row row your boat
    Gently down the stream
    If you see a crocodile
    Don't forget to scream

    Cornwall, United Kingdom. Heard this as a kid from 1994

  21. Jordan DeRosa

    Row row row your boat
    Gently down the stream
    If you see a crocodile
    Don't forget to scream

    Cornwall, United Kingdom. Heard it as a kid from 1994

  22. Danielle

    Row row row your boat
    Backstage fondling
    Barney was arrested and sent to jail
    For fucking the kiddies

    NJ, mid 2010s

  23. justin

    Fuck fuck fuck a duck screw a kangaroo, fingerbang an orangutan at your local zoo

  24. Anonymous

    I made this one up with some friends at a summer camp.

    Row row rotary
    Gently down the stream
    If you see an alligator
    Don’t forget to scream

  25. Boo

    Written in pink on the bathroom wall at Partnees in Flop Pond.

    Pad, pad pad a duck
    Yoww a gret hornd owl
    32 a kangeroo
    Owl at the zoo

    That was the original spelling, when it was written on the bathroom wall at Partnees. What it was supposed to say was:
    Pad, pad, pad a duck
    Yow a great horned owl
    32 a kangaroo
    Owly at the zoo.

  26. Becca

    In the eatly 2000s in NZ we had two versions

    Row, row, row your boat
    Gently down the stream
    If you see a crocodile,
    Don’t forget to scream


    Row, row, row your boat
    Gently down then stream
    Tip your teacher overboard
    Listen to her/them scream
    Five days later, nothing to be seen
    But a pair of underwear, floating down the stream

    The last bit (floating down the stream) was sometimes changed with other rhyming things such as “Hehe he he he”


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