Rubber Balls and Liquor

This was a “say ______ after everything I say” joke. The best known variant among my school was “So Did the Fat Lady,” but this one is more interesting, given the lack of anatomical knowledge that went along with it.

Person 1: Say “Rubber balls and liquor” after everything I say.
Person 2: Rubber Balls and liquor.
Person 1: I got all dressed up.
Person 2: Rubber Balls and liquor.
Person 1: I went out.
Person 2: Rubber Balls and liquor.
Person 1: I med a hot chick.
Person 2: Rubber Balls and liquor.
Person 1: I took her home.
Person 2: Rubber Balls and liquor.
Person 1: What did I do?
Person 2: Rubber Balls and liquor.

In case you haven’t caught on, the line becomes “rub her balls and lick her.” I haven’t heard this one too many places, but it was HUGE at my playground in the 80s, and plenty of people come here after googling it.

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22 Comments

  1. Merav Hoffman

    There's also a variation with 'pea soup' which takes you through a series of statements about what happens as you make soup and what happens after.

    Reply
  2. SilverSpring80s

    In the version I encountered, the lead-up questions were all about what was in a drawer? What was in a cabinet? What was in the toy box? Then, "what did you do to your girlfriend?"

    Reply
  3. Anonymous

    Presumably we had better anatomical knowledge, since our version (early/mid-'90) went "rubber buns and liquor".

    Reply
  4. Anonymous

    Well that's just stupid. What is a "rubber bun"?

    Reply
  5. Anonymous

    Suburban Philly, 1950's here.
    Now say 'lettuce' and then spell 'cup'.

    Reply
  6. Anonymous

    Heard on the playground in Buffalo NY, early 70s. The variation in my neighborhood ended with the 'what did you do to your girlfriend?' inquiry. I was speaking to my brother about this joke, and how I didnt get it due to my advanced (for my age) knowledge of female anatomy. His response: 'when you're seven, anything about 'balls' is funny.

    Reply
  7. Kay from Toronto

    I grew up in the 60s and 70s in Toronto. I never thought the joke was funny because I heard it after I knew that girls didn't have balls. HOWEVER later I wondered if it was an advanced joke about dating a trans-gendered person, back in the day when we didn't even have the words for trans-gender available.

    We told the pea soup joke, which was a favourite of mine.

    1st person: Say "pea green soup" after everything I say.

    1st: What did you have for breakfast?
    2nd person: Pea green soup

    1st: What did you have for lunch?
    2nd person: Pea green soup

    1st: What did you have for dinner?
    2nd person: Pea green soup

    1st: What did you have for a midnight snack?
    2nd person: Pea green soup

    1st: What did you do all night?
    2nd person: Pea green soup!

    Ha! Ha! Still funny.

    Reply
  8. Ron

    Rubber balls and liquor – Glen Burnie, Maryland 1960 or 1961.

    Reply
  9. Anonymous

    In the early 60's, the Chicago suburban version required answering a number of questions about cocktails with the response, "rubber balls and liquor." The final question was, "What would you do if you found Marilyn Monroe in your bathtub?"

    Reply
  10. Anonymous

    About 1960 in Los Angeles area California public elementary school, about 4th grade. "Rubber balls and liquor" repeated boringly, then shocking surprise twist ending: "What would you do if you found Marilyn Monroe in your bathtub?" Unforgettably weird and confusing/puzzling.

    (Analysis: not just a question of "lack of anatomical knowledge". Can be viewed instead as a matter of non-standardized terminology at young age. The vision of MM in bathtub would suggest "balls" refering to breasts; that's how I understood it then.)

    Reply
  11. Anonymous

    I like rubber bush and liquor better!

    Reply
  12. Anonymous

    early sixties in East Hartford, Connecticut

    Reply
  13. Anonymous

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    Reply
  14. Anonymous

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    Reply
  15. Anonymous

    Heard in the early 60's in Boston. The version with Marilyn Munroe in your bathtub was confusing even for elementary schoolers.

    Reply
  16. Anonymous

    Oh yes … early 60s in Cincinnati as well :)

    Reply
  17. Red Wolf

    I didn't see this one on here, where you take turns back and forth saying numbers, like:
    First person: I one a ____
    Second person: I two a ____
    First person: I three a ____
    Second person: I four a ____

    and so on until you get to eight, so the person gets tricked into saying they ate a ____ (whatever you put in the blank.)

    Reply
  18. Anonymous

    What, no "ketchup" version?

    Person 1: What did you eat for breakfast?
    Person 2: Ketchup, rubber buns and liquor.
    Person 1: What did you eat for lunch?
    Person 2: Ketchup, rubber buns and liquor.
    Person 1: What did you eat for dinner?
    Person 2: Ketchup, rubber buns and liquor.
    Person 1: What do you do when you see a pretty girl walking down the street?
    Person 2: Ketchup, rubber buns and liquor.

    Reply
  19. Anonymous

    WTF are rubber buns and WTF is a rubber bush? Rubber balls makes sense because they actually exist, unlike the other two. And BTW, the joke goes like this:

    Person 1: After everything I say, you say "Rubber balls and liquor", OK?
    Person 2: OK.
    Person 1: What did you have for breakfast?
    Person 2: Rubber balls and liquor.
    Person 1: What did you have for lunch?
    Person 2: Rubber balls and liquor.
    Person 1: What did you have for supper?
    Person 2: Rubber balls and liquor.
    Person 1: What did you have for a snack?
    Person 2: Rubber balls and liquor.
    Person 1: What did you do to a girl?
    Person 2: Rubber balls and liquor.

    THAT'S the way this joke goes.

    Reply
  20. pennyrobinsonfanclub.net

    I don't recall the whole sequence but the same idea, presumably with the name of a girl who is right there:

    Jenny was hiding —

    behind the bush.

    Her boyfriend found her —
    behind the bush.

    (I don't think it got terribly explicit as to what happens to her, I think she gets kissed and maybe her clothes are disarranged.)

    And where were you?
    Behind the bush. (which usually prompted some physical retaliation on the teller!)
    Heard this in Massachusetts, late 60s/early 70s.

    As for the "rubber balls" line, it may not reflect so much an ignorance of anatomy but a deliberate confusion of anatomy — I'm sure our gracious host here is familiar with folklore's "Trickster" character, who sometimes exhibits sexual ambiguity in such a way — think of Bugs Bunny ending up in a wedding dress about to marry Elmer Fudd! This "rubber balls" punchline may tap into such a sensibility of deliberate error as part of the humor of the situation — or possibly identifying the -victim- of the gag as being so ignorant.

    Hmm, would it be too much of a reach to suggest "rubber balls" might have even a -third- significance, suggesting a girl wearing some sort of artificial male organs?

    Reply
  21. Charles Brubaker

    Southwestern Ohio, mid-sixties.
    In the first grade, a person's "Balls" meant buttocks. Then you get a little older, find out what "Balls" really means, and the joke doesn't make sense any more, and you never mention it again.

    Reply
  22. K.A. Hood

    when I was in elementary school (Canadian West coast, early 90's) i heard a version of this joke which read the line as "ketchup and liquor"

    it read something like:
    Q:what do I have in my fridge?
    A: ketchup and liquor

    Q:what do I have for lunch today?
    A:ketchup and liquor

    Q:a girl ran away from me, so what did I do?
    A:ketchup and liquor

    Reply

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