Satan Loves Me (and other Jesus Loves Me Parodies)

This is another one I heard in Iowa in the early 90s – it was rumored to be written by a writer for The Simpsons at the time:

Satan loves me, this I know
for the voices tell me so
they all live way down below
I am weak, but they are slow
They, give me power, they give me power
they give me power, the voices tell me so

There are a few variations on this going around, such as a version that uses Bible verses say he’s wrong / but that book is way too long for the third and fourth lines. Those, in fact, seem to be a lot more common (judging by google) than the one I heard. Odds are that these aren’t by kids. Teenagers, more likely. Not sure where we got that it had a Simpsons connection – was it in one of the Simspons magazines or comic books?

Other versions end with “fame and wealth to him belong / F– the weak, in him be strong,” and others, presumably coming from someone who heard, but didn’t understand, that last one: “f— the weekend and be strong.” I get the sense that this is far more popular with adults than kids.

“Jesus Loves Me” parodies have been common for years, even at Bible colleges. This one was recorded by Sherman from a source who learned it in the late 70s:

Jesus hates you, this I know
cause the Bible tells me so
And on this we all agree
Jesus hates you more than me
Yes, Jesus hates you (x3)
he told me so himself

Iona Opie recorded this one in the 50s in the UK:
Jesus love me, I don’t think
he took me to a skating rink
he drank whiskey, I drank beer
Jesus loves me, I’m a leer

Opie also notes the following parody of “Gentle Jesus:”
Charlie Chaplin, meek and mild
stole a sixpence from a child
when the child began to cry
Charlie Chaplin said good bye
.

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1 Comment

  1. crewelwhorled

    In my evangelical singing group, the daughter of the Souther Baptist minister used to sing this variation on Put Your Hand in the Hand (Of the Man Who Stilled the Water):

    Put your hand in the fan and you will lost a finger;
    Put you foot in the fan and you will lose a toe;
    Put your face in the fan and you will look at others differently;
    Put you body in the fan and change your anatomy.

    Pretty tame, for a preacher's kid, but she sang it in her best Southern Gospel Soprano, really scmaltzing it up, and it didn't matter how many time I heard it, I always burst into giggles when she got to the third line.

    Reply

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