Scab and Matter Custard, Dead Dog’s Eye

Gross school lunch songs have been common in England for, well, probably as long as they’re been school lunches (which, in England, started during ww2), and lines from them even inspired John Lennon when he wrote The Beatles “I Am the Walrus” (or, anyway, they seem to have). One sung to the tune of “A-hunting we will go” went:

Snot and pooey pie
snot and pooey pie
all mixed together in a dead dog’s eye
.

Others recorded around England in the 1950s included:

Scab and matter custard
green snot pies
dead dog’s giblets
dead dog’s eyes.
And a cup of sick to wash it down!

Beatles fans will surely note the similarity to the Beatles line “Yellow matter custard / dripping from a dead dog’s eye.”

Others:
Splishy splashy custard
dead dog’s eyes,
all mixed up with giblet pies
spread the butty nice and thick
swallow it down with a bucket of sick!

and

Slap a pab of custard, green dog eye
all mixed together with a dead cat’s eye
Slap it on thick
Then swill it down with a cup of sick!

At the same time, just to match things up to the 1950s Davy Crocket craze that worked its way into so many of these things, there was:

Say what you will
school dinners make you ill
and shephers’s pie
makes Davy Crockett cry.
All school din-dins
come from pig-bins
and that’s no lie!

And, of course, the 1950s were right around the time we can probably pinpoint for the origin of The Big One – America’s answer to food gross out songs: The immortal Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts

Kay Shapero collected a couple more:

Contributed by Monique MacNaughton:

Scab Sandwiches, pus on top!
Monkey’s vomit, camel snot!
Chopped-up bird nuts, chicken gut stew!
Scab sandwiches are good for you!

Contributed by David Hughes:

Scab sandwich, pus on top
Alligator eyes all rolled in guts
Pigs feet dipped in goo
Makes a tasty treat for YOU!

(Visited 3,159 times, 2 visits today)

26 Comments

  1. Merav Hoffman

    Having just read Pete Shotton's book John Lennon: In My Life about his lifelong friendship with John Lennon, he confirms that John was thinking about the 'custard dripping' line from this rhyme when he wrote I Am The Walrus, as he was there when John wrote it.

    He goes on to say that John was actually trying to make light of the fact that his former school master at Quarry Bank High School were learning his songs as poems in English class. John and Pete were terrible students, and frequently made fun of their professors and parodied the work they were learning, so this seemed like perfect revenge. This is a large part of why analysis of I Am the Walrus remains largely fruitless.

    Reply
  2. Herbaltablet

    Nuneaton, Warwickshire, England, mid-1980s to early 1990s:

    The following was sung to the tune of "Frère Jacques":

    School dinners, school dinners,
    Concrete chips, concrete chips,
    Soggy semolina, soggy semolina,
    Toilet quick, I feel sick [or vice versa]

    sometimes with an additional flourish:

    It's too late, I've done it on my plate.

    Still makes me smile to think of this thoroughly puerile song today… :-)

    Reply
  3. Vicky leith

    In Bradford, West Yorkshire, UK, the version was in the 80's was:
    Yellow matter custard
    Snot and bogie pie
    Dead dogs giblets
    Green cats eyes
    Spread it on bread and spread it on thick
    Then wash it all down with a cup of cold sick

    Does kind of remind me of school dinners back then!

    Reply
  4. Anonymous

    Scab and matter pudding, green snot pie
    All mixed together with a dead dogs eye
    Slap it on a butty, nice and thick
    Then swill down with a cup of cold sick

    Lancashire, England, 1960

    Reply
  5. Anonymous

    I knew it as

    Snot, Gob Custard
    Scab and Matter Pie
    All mixed up with a Dead Dogs Eye

    Spread it on your bread
    Spread it nice and thick
    Then wash it down with a Cold Cup of Sick!

    I was taught it by my mum when I was a kid in the eighties, she would have been in school in the sixties.
    From Cara
    Essex, England

    Reply
  6. Anonymous

    The version at my North Yorkshire school in the mid 50's was

    Scabby scabby custard green snot pie
    all mixed up with a dead dogs eye
    Snails on toast, spread real thick
    all washed down with a cup of cold sick.

    Reply
  7. hjlee547

    From my Dad who grew up on Butt Lane, Kidsgrove, Stoke-on-Trent (1945 ish):

    Scab and matter custard, cat's green eye's, dead dog giblits, rat tail pies. Spread 'em on a butty nice and thick, swill it down your throat with a jug of hot sick.

    Reply
  8. hjlee547

    From my Dad who grew up on Butt Lane, Kidsgrove, Stoke-on-Trent (1945 ish):

    Scab and matter custard, cat's green eye's, dead dog giblits, rat tail pies. Spread 'em on a butty nice and thick, swill it down your throat with a jug of hot sick.

    Reply
  9. Anonymous

    Jelly jelly custard green snot pie, all mixed together with a dead dog's eye. Slap it on a butty, slap it on thick, then wash it down with a cold cup of sick.

    Reply
  10. Anonymous

    puss puss custard, green snot pie.
    all mixed together with a dead mans eye.
    Stir in some maggots, to make it all thick.
    And drink it all down with a cup of cold sick.

    Reply
  11. Anonymous

    Scab and matter custard…

    It's from Fungus the Bogeyman by Raymond Briggs.

    Reply
  12. Adam Selzer

    It was recorded among students in England a good 20+ years before the Briggs book came out.

    Reply
  13. Maureen

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    Reply
  14. Maureen

    Absolutely right Adam, already old in the 1950s.

    Reply
  15. Sarah Barry

    When I was young my father taught me a poem that I thought he made up: 'Diorrhea pudding, green snob pie, all mixed together with a dead dogs eye, put it on the stove, mix it with a stick, and wash it all down with a cup of cold sick'
    A little inappropriate for a child but ill always remember it!

    Reply
  16. Mike Hoy

    HERES A GOOD ONE

    JELLY BELLY CUSTARD
    AND GREEN SNOT PIE
    ALL MIXED UP WITH A DEAD DOGS EYE
    SPREAD IT ON A BUTTY
    NICE AND THICK
    THEN WASH IT AL DOWN WITH A COLD CUP OF SICK

    Reply
  17. essexcockney.com

    Cock a doodle do whats it to do with you leave it alone play with your own cock a doodle do ……

    all the best essexcockney

    Reply
  18. essexcockney.com

    hot snot and bogie pie all mixed up in a dead dogs eye

    Reply
  19. Mary

    "Scab and matter custard, green phlegm pie … " was just a chant in our early 1940s playground, it had nothing to do with school dinners.

    Reply
  20. Lara

    When I would ask my mom or grandma what was for dinner I more often then not received this as a reply:

    Hot scab sandwiches,
    Pus on top
    Monkey's vomit and
    Camel's snot.
    Everyone's doing it, doing it
    Picking their nose and chewing it, chewing it.

    Reply
  21. Matt C

    I knew it as:
    cowardly cowardly custard, earwigs pie,
    all mixed together with a dead dogs eye,
    slugs on toast, spread it thick.
    all washed down with a cup of cold sick.

    south London 1960/70s

    Reply
  22. Susan Rattenbury-Reynolds

    As far as I can recall we used to chant the following while skipping with a long rope,several girls at a time,in the school playground. Definitely in the 1950’s:

    Scabs on custard ……. pudding pie
    …… ….. ……… and a dead dog’s eye (can’t remember those bits)
    Snails on top all furry and thick
    All washed down with a cup of cold sick!

    I wish I could remember all the words though.

    Sue

    Reply
  23. Karen

    I knew it as
    Slabby Dabby custard green snot pie
    All mixed in with a dead dogs eye.
    Slap it on thin slap it on thick
    Wash it all down with a cold cup of sick

    Reply
  24. Mr Jolly

    In our school days in Surrey in 1970’s it was…
    Curly Wurly Custard, Cold Cats Eyes,
    Dead Dog Giblets & Bogeyman Pies
    Red Blood Sandwiches Spread Nice & Think
    Washed Down Nicely with a Cold Cup of Sick

    Reply
  25. Dog

    Also from 70’s Surrey …

    Cold creamy custard
    Snot and bogey pie
    All wrapped up with a dead dogs eye
    Serve it up warm and serve it up quick
    Wash it all down
    With a cold cup of sick

    Reply
  26. Steven Jackson

    One we used to sing…. Red, white, and blue the dirty kangaroo
    he went behind the dust bin to do a number two
    he wrapped it up in paper and threw it in the sea
    and all the little fishes had chocolate cake for tea.

    Reply

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *