The “Learn The Letters of the Alphabet” Joke

There was a kid who wouldn’t learn the letters of the alphabet, so his teacher said ‘go home, and learn the letters!’ He went home and asked his sister “What’s the first letter?” She said “Shut up!” Then he asked “what’s the second letter?” She was singing along with the radio, so she said “Yeah, yeah, yeah!” Then he went to see his dad, who was watching football, and said “What’s the third letter?” His dad said “Go! Go! Go!” “What’s the fifth letter?” “64! 64! 64!” Then he went to see his brother, who was watching TV, and said “what’s the sixth letter?” His brother ignored him and said “na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!” because he was singing along with the TV.

The next day the teacher said. “Okay, what’s the first letter?” And said “Shut up!”
“Are you trying to get in trouble?”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah!”
“Do you want to go to the principal’s office?”
“Go! Go! Go!”
“How many spankings do you want?
“64! 64! 64!”
“Who do you think you are?”
“na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!”

I vaguely remember hearing variations of this as a kid. It’s included in a book or two from the 80s, and I’ve heard it in the last year from kids across the midwest. There are LOTS of minor variations. One I heard this summer ends with the kids mom saying “From the bathroom, from the bathroom, from the BATHroom I have come!” (tune of “My Darling Clementine”), which the kid then tells his teacher when she asked “where do you come from?”

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9 Comments

  1. LSK

    I heard a variant where an old immigrant lady came to the United States and viewed American TV for the first time. She saw a series of ads – I can't remember what the contents were – and her viewing experience was interrupted by a knock on the door by the police. They interrogated her and in response to each question, she repeated a different slogan, yielding some obscene dialogue. I can't recall what the dialogue was, exactly.

    Reply
  2. Adam Selzer

    LSK – sounds like a variation on the Plug It In Plug It In joke.

    Reply
  3. joke

    there was a boy named zak
    his teacher asked him to learn the first three letters of the alphabet
    so he went home and asked his mum "whats the first letter of the alphbet"
    she said "shut up im doing the ironing' then he went to his dad and asked him "what the second letter of the alphebet" he said "190" and then he went to his younger brother and said "whats the third letter of the alphabet" he said "in my little brum brum car"

    so the next day he went to the teacher and said "i have learnt the thurst three letters o the alphbet" "whats the firat letter " shut p im doing the ironing" sos he sent him to the head teacher the head teacher said "how many detentions do you want " i said "190" so she said "how do you think you are going to get away with this " i said "in my little brum brum car"

    i heard this in 2011

    Reply
  4. Anonymous

    There was a boy named Tom. His teacher told him to learn the first three letters of the alphabet when he went home.

    He went home and said to his sister " whats the first letter of the alphabet?" she said "shutup!" because she was on the phone with her boyfriend. His dad was watching darts on the tv and the boy asked "whats the seccond letter of the alphabet?" His dad said "180" He went to ask his baby sister and said"whats the third letter of the alphabet?" she said "Driving in my brum brum car.

    The next day at school the teacher said "whats the first letter?" he said "shutup!" The teacher said "how many detentions o you want?" he said "180" The teacher said "how are you gonna get away?" He said "in my little brum brum car"

    I heared this in 2011

    Reply
  5. Anonymous

    There was a little boy who wouldn't learn the alphabet so his teacher told him to go home and learn them.

    He went home and asked his mum what the first letter of the alphabet was. She said 'Shut up'. He then went to ask his dad the second letter. He said 180 because he was watching a tv show. He went to ask his brother what the third letter was. He said nananananananana..Batman!

    The next day at school, his teacher said what's the first letter of the alphabet. He replied with, 'Shut up'. She got angry and said how much detentions do you want. He said '180'. She then said 'Who do you think you are?!' and he said 'nananananana..Batman!'

    LMAO, now this is funny!!!

    Reply
  6. hi

    http://translate.google.com/#en|tl|na%20na%20na%20na%20na%20na%20na%20na%20na%20na%20Batman

    Reply
  7. Anonymous

    this is dumb just kidding i like it!

    Reply
  8. itdiab71

    Gym

    Reply
  9. AAllen

    Suburban Seattle, late 1970s

    "Teacher, teacher, I have to go to the bathroom."

    "Okay, but say your ABCs first."

    "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO, uh, QRSTUVWXYZ."

    "Where's your 'P'?"

    "It's running down my leg."

    Reply

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