Here’s one sent in by Jason from Maryland, who learned it in the early 80s:
Abe Lincoln was a good old man
jumped out the window with his dick in his hand
said “scuse me, ladies, gotta do my duty
drop your drawers and give me some booty.”
This seems to have spread around a lot – throwing Abe Lincoln into a rhyme almost always makes it funnier.
Some other similar Lincoln rhymes I’ve seen go
Abe Lincoln was a good old man
washed his face in a frying pan
and
Abe Lincoln was a good old soul
washed his face in a toilet bowl
I wouldn’t presume to guess how old this is; folklorists probably would have left it out of their books up until the 1960s (before then, even Iona Opie, who was no prude, was referring to “unprintable” rhymes). But all of these rhymes sound like variations (in some cases changing only the name) of “Old Dan Tucker,” one of the solid gold top hit songs of the 1830s:
Old Dan Tucker was a good old man
washed his face in a frying pan
combed his hair with a wagon wheel
born with a toothache in his heel
Bruce Springsteen recorded a rollicking, spirited version of the song on his wonderful We Shall Overcome: The Seeger Sessions album. I assume that there were dirty verses going around by, say, the 1840s, though the word “booty” as a synonym for sex only goes back to about the 1920s. When Abe Lincoln started turning up in the song is probably anyone’s guess; the idea probably came to some kid who heard the song at camp and spread from there. I would say that by the 1980s, most of the kids singing the lines above had never heard “Old Dan Tucker.”
update: 2013:
Several comments indicate that a common ending to this (after “give me some booty”) were a couple of lines that come up in a number of playground rhymes, including Old MacDonald Sitting on a Fence
When I die, bury me
hang my balls from a cherry tree.
This connects it to much older rhymes (even older than “Old Dan Tucker,” including an old folk/blues song known as “When I Die,” which is included in a couple of early 20th century collections of such:
The Journal of American Folklore collected one like this from “mountain whites” in Tennessee in 1907:
When I die, bury me a tall
soak my body in alcohol
When I die, bury me deep
put a quart of liquor at my head and my feet
The same source traced another version to “Mississippi negroes” in 1908:
When I die, don’t bury my at all
preserve my bones in alcohol
Another version collected from a similar source (“Mississippi negroes”) around the same time went:
When I die, bury me deep
tell the gamblers I’ve gone to sleep
put a pair of bones in my right hand
and i’ll throw seven in the promised land.
A similar version collected in Alabama in 1915 was the same as the above, with “bottle of booze at my feet” substituting for the second line.
| You see variations on this in lots of blues songs, “Dying Crapshooter’s Blues” by Blind Willie McTell comes right to mind (and I think he himself said he stole from all sorts of sources to make that song, which, itself, was similar to “St. James Infirmary Blues,” which itself grew out of even older songs like “The Unfortunate Rake,” “Streets of Laredo,” etc). So what we’ve got here is basically a progression of a 16th century British ballad growing into a playground rhyme sung to the tune of Andrew Lloyd Weber.
There are entire books about how these particular songs grow into each other, including a couple at the right: |
Now, it’s easy to make the inference here, based on the above examples, that despite the dates, the “negro” version came first, as “bury me a tall” is clearly a corruption of “don’t bury me at all.” However, figuring out which came first, and who’s appropriating from who, is just about impossible in these things. Those 19th/20th century folk and blues songs are just about the perfect example of a pure hybrid, as African rhythms mixed with European melodies. Since Pete Seeger died the other day, it seems like as good as time as any to mention that in 2000 I interviewed him over the phone on a radio show (my co-host, who’d been active in the folk world for ages, had his home phone number), and he said something about how the upside of our country’s abominable racial history is that it gave us this hybrid music: “Sometimes the call it rock, sometimes they call it folk, or gospel, or blues, or jazz….”
Which versions did you hear, and when?
In reading an anthology, I found this:
Abraham Lincoln was a good old soul
He washed his face in the toilet bowl
He jumped out the window with his d***
in his hand,
And said, "'Scuse me, ladies, I'm
Superman!"
The anthology doesn't mention a date, but says it is a skip-rope rhyme from Harlem.
The one I heard goes something like this:
Abraham lincoln was a good old man
He jumped out the window with his dick in his hand
He went to the doctor and the doctor said
Sorry mother fucker but your dick is dead
That was back in the mid 80's in Long Beach CA
Orlando, Florida, 1990's.
We just sang Old Dan Tucker as it was in olden days, and the 16th POTUS was nowhere to be found anywhere near the song.
We used to recite this version in Cleveland Ohio in the 1960's…
"Abraham Lincoln was a good old man
He walked down the street with his dick in his hand
He lined the girls up in the hall, then Abraham Lincoln fucked them all."
Abraham Lincoln was a good old man
He washed his face with a frying pan
Jumped out the window with his dick in his hand
said scuse me ladies I'm a nasty old man
When I die, bury me
Hang my balls on a cherry tree
When they grow, let me know
I'll be listening on the radio
Washington D.C. (late 70's, early 80's)
My mama and 2 of my cousins told me this one…
Abraham Lincoln was a good old man,
He jumped out the window with his dick in his hand.
He went up to a lady saying,"just doing my duty.
So pull down your pants and give me some booty."
Long Beach NY, 1980's
Abraham Lincoln was a good old man
He washed his face with a frying pan
Jumped out the window with his dick in his hand
said hey motherfucker I'm superman
When I die, bury me
Hang my balls on a cherry tree
When they're ripe, take a bite
Hey motherfucking I'm dynamite
Abraham Lincoln was a good old man
He shot 2 chicks with a rubber band
he ran down the hill with 2 dicks in his hand
and said motherfucker i'm superman
sorry dont kno the date
Seattle, early 1980s:
Abraham Lincoln was a good old man
Fried his dick in a fryin' pan
Said "When I die, bury me,
"Hang my balls on a cherry tree,
Pick them off and take a bite,
An' tell me if they taste all right!"
Philadelphia, early 2000's
Abraham Lincolon was a good ol' man
He shot two tiddies with a rubberband
He jumped out the window with a dick in his hand
And said "Hi everybody, I'm superman!"
aberham lincol was a good old man
he fried his balls in the frying pan
he jumped out the window with his balls in his hand
he said eww baby ill trade you my city if i can suxk your titty 1990 suburban playground
late 90's early 2000's New york city
abraham lincoln was a good old man
he got shot in the butt with a rubber band
he jumped out the window with a cape in his hand
and said hey im superman
Heard it about 1989 (2nd grade), Tracy, California:
old abe lincoln was a good old man
he washed his face in a frying pan
he jumped out the window with his dick in his hand
and yelled "hey motherfucker, I'm a mean jungle man!"
Abraham Lincoln was a good old man
Walkin' down the street with his dick in his hand
He said "hey, lady, I'm doin' my duty,
so pull down your pants and gimme some booty!"
(As Jo Eller used to chant it at Thompson Park)
Abraham Lincoln was a good old man
His dick got shot by a rubber band
He went to the doctor and the doctor said,
"Sorry, motherfucker, but your dick is dead."
I heard that in 1995 in Escondido, CA
Abraham Lincoln was a good, old man
He shot three dicks with a rubber band
He broke a window with a dick in his hand and said
“Hey, motherfucker, I’m superman!
Heard c. 1998, Miami, Fl
Abraham Lincoln was a good man,
Stuck his dick in a fryin pan,
Jumped out the window with his dick in his hand sayin
Hey motherfucker I'm Superman!
(NYC early 80's)
Theres that one that says :
You're an Old Monkey with a White Hunky
You're and Old Jew, Why don't you try somethink new
You're an Old Jap and You need to be slapped
Cause, this is this and that is that
..And if you don't like that you can kiss my ass…
I said if you don't like that you can kiss my ass
Hank Jr song
Abraham Lincoln was a good old man,
You can catch him stuffin children in a pedophile van.
He once got caught by the kids old man
And he chopped his Dick off as fast as he can
Kasey Perkins
I went in a time machine and gave Abraham lincoln a blumpkin 😉 josh sova
Abraham Lincoln was the king of the Jews
Wiped his ass with the Daily News
Jumped out the window with his dick in his hand
and said "Hey motherfucker I'm Superman!"
Late 80's NYC
Connecticut, early 80s:
Abraham Lincoln was a good old man
Washed his face in a frying pan
Jumped out the window with his dick in his hand
And said, excuse me maam I'm Superman.
Southern California, late 80s:
Abraham Lincoln was a good ol' man,
fried his balls in a fryin' pan.
Girl- take off your pants and do the boogy dance.
If I die,
bury me,
hang my balls on a cherry tree.
When they're ripe,
take a bite,
and don't complain if they don't taste right
Northeast Alabama, late 80s
Abraham Lincoln, king of the jews.
He wore flip flop britches and brogan shoes.
He went upstairs to make his bed.
Tripped over the shitpot and hit his head.
He couldn't swim and he couldn't float,
so all the shit went down his throat.
Abraham Lincoln, king of the Jews,
he wore black britches and white tennis shoes.
He’s a mean motherfucker from the Congo Land…
swings through the trees with his dick in his hand.
The first time I saw him … and I haven’t seen him since,
he was jackin’ off a nigger through a barbed wire fence.
I have heard young'uns saying this not too long ago.
Old Abe Lincoln was a good old soul, had a buckskin belly and a rubber ass-hole. He swallowed a barrel of cider down and then he shit all over town.
Abraham Licoln was a nice old man,
He Jumped out the window with a gun in his hand
and said: shoot me baby cos I'm superman
Wilmington, Delaware, Late 80's:
Abraham Lincoln was a very good guy
He jumped out the window, to see if he could fly
He ran up the stairs, Did a 94
Let off a big one and blew down the door
Mid 1960's New York City
Abraham Lincoln was a good old man,
Washed his hand in a frying pan,
He flew out the window with his d– in his hand,
Excuse me lady, I'm superman.
I was walking down the jungle with my d in my hand,
I looked up a tree and what do I see,
I saw a " MF trying to p– on me
So I pick up a rock, and I hit him is his C–
and I never saw that mf again around my block
My uncle had a dirtier version of this without Abe Lincoln being mentioned.
Runnin' through the jungle with my d—in my hand
Said, "Excuse me lady, I'm a jungle man."
Saw a hundred women up against the wall,
Jacked off, turned around and f—ed them all!
Got to 98 and then my balls turned blue,
So I took an Alka Seltzer and I f—ed the other two.
This was Colorado, ca. mid '60s
Abraham Lincohn was a good 'ol man
He got shot in the balls with a rubber band
Jumped out of the window with his balls in his hands
Hey, mother fucker, Im superman!!!
Connecticut, early 70s-
Largely the same, only with Casey Jones instead of Lincoln:
Casey Jones was a son of a bitch
Got his education form a whorehouse bitch
Flew through the window etc.
President Lincoln was a very good man
he jumped out the window with his d-k in his hand
He said "when i die, bury me.."
"and hang my balls in a cherry tree"
(Harlem, New York City, late 70's)
New Jersey, early 70's. Abraham Lincoln was king of the Jews, he wore be bop clothes and tennis shoes. He flew thru the air with a Dick in his hand, and said "Pardon me ma'am I'm an African man". He saw a motherfucker sitting in a tree said pardon me man your pissin on me. So he chucked up a rock and hit him in the cock and he fell 40,000 miles straight down.
culver city, ca early 80's
Abraham Lincoln was a good ole man
jumped out the window with his dick in his hand
said excuse me lady just doing my duty
so turn around and gimme some booty
when I die don't bury me
hang my balls from a cherry tree
if they fall
don't play ball
take em back to city hall.
This one is not related to the "Dan Tucker" version but is instead a jump-rope song:
Lincoln, Lincoln
I've been thinkin'
What on earth have you been drinking?
Smells like whiskey
Taste's like wine
Oh my god, it's turpentine!
Elementary school, California bay area, early 80s.
Abraham Lincoln was a good ass man
Jumped out the window with his dick in his hand
*memory is fuzzy at this point*
He said, "Hey, my ladies, marry me! Then hang my balls on the Christmas Tree! If they fall, don't play ball, send them back to City Hall!"
Canoga Park, California mid-late 1980s
Long island, NY 1970's
The very original:
I'm Abraham Lincoln king of the Jews,
I wear alligator boots and naked shoes.
I walk around with my dick in my hand
and say hey mother fucker I'm superman!
When I die, bury me,
Hang my balls from the cherry tree.
When they're ripe, take a bite,
Hey motherfucker I'm dynamite!
Abraham Lincoln was a good old man,
Jumped out the window with his dick in his hand,
Said 'scuse me ladies, gotta pee
Hang my balls from a cherry tree
When they're ripe
Take a bite
Don't they taste
Dyno-Mite (a la jimmy walker)
Late 70's Los Angeles
Abraham Lincoln was the king of the Jews he wore combat boots and alligator shoes
when I die bury me hang my balls from the cherry tree when they grow let me know cause I’ll be singing on the radio
walked around the corner what do I see big hairy fucker trying to pee on me so I picked up a rock hit him in the cock boy that fucker ran a hell of a block!
Heard this often when I lived in housing projects in small town in rural central Louisiana…
Abraham Lincoln was a good old man,
Jumped out the window with his dick in his hand.
Said excuse me ladies, I’m doing my duty
So pull down your pants and give me some booty
The above was in the early 80s